Are Women Their Own Worst Enemy

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We all grew up reading stories about ladies in distress. Stories were more or less the same. Girl is in trouble and she does not see any way to end her miseries. She is so beautiful that even nature stops to admire her. She has a voice so soft that it could melt even a stone and when she sings in her soothing voice the whole surrounding is spell-bound. Oh and when prince is wandering out in a forest on his horse (on one of his missions or just to get away from his grand palace where he doesn’t wish to live) he hears this melodious voice and he just knows he has to meet the singer as in his heart he believes he has found his true love. He follows the sound and the moment lays eyes on this bewitching beauty he just knows “She is the one”. Then whole story proceeds by going through several ups and downs but almost always ends when prince gets his lady out of her melancholy and being her knight in shining armor.

I have actually lived in these stories. I have dreamed of being a princess all through my childhood. I dreamed of being rescued (not that I was in any misery which needed me being rescued but there is no logic in fantasy). I remember using every figment of my imagination in creating my own fairy tale starring me in the lead role and a sophisticated, handsome, brave, kindhearted and deeply-in-love-with-me guy as a prince. Wow! you wouldn’t believe the kind of stories I’ll create in my head. In every story’s climax this unbelievably handsome guy rescues me and we live happily ever after in a magnificent palace.

Though I enjoyed every single one of these stories and imagined me being the princess, when I started getting a taste of reality I realized we can’t expect a prince to turn up for our help every time we are in any misery. In fact there is also one very important part of these stories which we can’t forget and that is the role of step mother. These step mothers’ were characterized as the main villain of story who played major role in traumatizing this girl.

This makes me wonder about a well known quote “Women are their own worst enemy“. There is something to this theory. Dowry cases are quite common problem even in this century and in almost every case I have heard, mother in law plays a very crucial role in torturing her daughter-in-law to fulfill her financial demands. Even though she herself is a lady, she tortures another lady in ways which even men find heinous. They burn their daughter-in-laws, beat them in the most disdainful manner, push them down the staircases when they are pregnant and do other inhuman things just to get money from her parents or to fulfill any other demand she and her family might have. I am not defending other members of the family and definitely I feel only disgust towards husband who married this lady just to extract money and is pretending to be so helpless in front of his mother that he is quietly a part of this act but the most painful point I find here is a woman being the leader in committing this crime with immense pride.

This morning my maid was telling me that her husband told her in many occasions that he does not respect ladies and under no circumstances will he follow a lady’s advice. You may think “So what? This mentality is quite common in uneducated men” but trust me there are a lot of well educated men out there who believe in the same. It has been my observation that in more than 60% of such cases, these men(while growing up) saw ladies being mistreated in their own houses possibly by their own husbands and this left an impression in their head that ladies are meant to be treated this way. Yes there are few cases in which men turned out entirely opposite and they made it a mission to help any lady in need so that no other woman has to go through the things their moms or sisters went through.

Nowadays I have observed guys of this generation have an evolved mind set. They are happily helping their wives, mothers and sisters. They respect ladies. They believe in being courteous to ladies, not because they think ladies are weak and helpless but because they want to show respect to ladies and help them out in every possible way. I salute these guys and applaud their evolved mentality.

When will ladies evolve though. If ladies stick together then need of a knight in shining armor may decrease. Why are we not being our own knights in shining armor? Why are we still blaming ladies for any tragedy that happens to them? I think as a lady its our responsibility to protect and respect another lady’s self-respect. Its time to stick together and give our knights some time to themselves. Now is the time for stubborn and greedy mother in laws to stop looking at their daughter in laws as a bundle of money and start pushing their sons to achieve financial stability by hard work. Now is the time for every lady who is being tortured by her husband in front of her kids to take a stand for herself and show her kids that it is not okay to be treated like a piece of furniture or a slave. Now is the time to seek justice for a woman who was tortured by your son or husband. Now is the time for every mother to make sure that her son knows how to treat a girl with utmost respect.

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Now is the time to give our knights a little time out. Be alert and stick together. Prove that “women are not their own worst enemy“.

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