Top Headlines of The Ankita Times – The Fake Newspaper

Dear Readers,

We are delighted to announce the top headlines of the who-knows-when-it-publishes fake newspaper : The Ankita Times. This newspaper features the important events occurring in the life of  a self-proclaimed celebrity, Ankita. Without further ado, presenting the top headlines  of her weekend –

Frequent Laptop Crash Turns Ankita into AnkiZilla

The old and ungrateful laptop of Ankita crashes while she tries to write her thought-provoking, truth revealing, and faith-increasing posts. Her reaction to this unnecessary crashing, as witnessed by some of our loyal reporters, has been found to be bizarre, to see the least. She was seen cursing, talking, and even praying to the laptop. She even succumbed to bribe this non-living object. However, her cry of help fails to bring her laptop to senses. On our multiple visits, finally, she gave this statement,

I am tired of the way my laptop has been acting these days. I am writing the same thing over and over because it crashes so many times, while I am in the middle of a post. I know I may sound like a spoiled brat, but I am really frustrated with this. Now, I will go in either one of these directions: format this laptop or buy a new one. That’s all for now.

We have noticed a few signs of mental breakdown, and we hope her laptop stops giving her a hard time.

Misplaced Anger Terrorizes Her Whole Family

Our reports confirm that she had a big fight with her husband on a silly topc; however, Ankita got very angry. She wrote a hate letter to her husband. He got terrified and turned to her family to ask her to fight with reason. The intrusion of her mom and sister, however, did not help the case. She refused to take any advice from her family and got furious with them. Her infuriating responses terrorized her family, and they left her alone. Things remained heated till last night with no evident signs of improvement.

Unnecessary Stress Took a Cheap Shot at Her

Things do not look stressful in her life, and yet, she has never felt more stressed out. She has taken up more assignments than she can complete, and her faith in herself is shaking from time to time. According to her mother,

She tends to overburden herself with many things. I know that she does not like sitting idle, but rest is also an important part of a life, which she does not understand. The overstress may take a very horrible face, and she needs to get out before it captures her in its claws.

Dear Ankita, mom has a point, and you must listen to her.

Blogging From A to Z April Challenge Exceeds her Expectations

Blogging from A to Z Challenge, in which many bloggers sign up, is an excellent opportunity for the bloggers to connect with a wider community of bloggers/readers/ writers. Ankita signed up for this challenge and has been actively writing on her other blog No Agenda Just Life. She had imagined it to be a lot of work; however, she misjusdged the amount of effort, it would require. Let’s hear from the horse’s mouth,

To tell the truth, this challenge has been exciting and overwhelming. It demands a lot of commitment, and in return, provides a lot of exposure. I have made acquaintances of many co-bloggers, and I feel motivated due to the same. Having said that, my posts at the beginning of the challenge were much more vast and interesting than what they have become now. In order to continue till the end of the challenge, I had to remove a few segments from the template of my posts, and I am not happy about it. Nevertheless, I am excited to meet you on the other side of the door when the challenge ends.

It will be fascinating to see how far she goes in ths challenge. Good luck, anyway!

Her New Found Hatred for Captcha

She hates captcha. She has been seen entering incorrect captcha at many occassions, and we believe this consistent error on her part became the reason of her hatred. Instead of hating a system that is one of many steps towards our safe browsing, she should work on her attentiveness and vision.

We See Rehab in her Future

Before the readers begin spreading rumors, we must clarify that she will not need rehab due to the common addictions. She is neither a drug-addict nor an alcoholic. She has become addicted to the books and the world wide web. Her family is worried due to her affection of these two entities. Either her eyes are on a book or on the internet — sometimes, both at the same time. She is ignoring her real life to make time for her endless list of books and browsing internet. Earlier, she used to beg her family for their time, and now, the table has turned — not in a good way! We hope, she can survive these addictions and make some room for other important things in life (like relationships).

The Trial Period of her Marriage Finally Ends

After three years of her marriage, she has finally decided to make it official. She has been putting in extra efforts to grab a marriage certificate, and has booked the date, 23rd April’16, to make an appearance in the court to grab her marriage certificate. Better late than never! BTW, congratulations, Ankita and her hubby!

A Demand for Forgiveness

Once she got over her AnkiZilla phase, she made her sincerest apologies to her mom and sister. However, when things did not turn as she expected, she went back to her an out-of-control-angry-self. Instead of pleading her case, she demanded her sister for her forgiveness. To our surprise, this trick worked, and her sister not only accepted her apologies but apologized for not forgiving her at once. Wow, she knows how to “beg” for forgiveness!

Her Sudden Reluctance to Charge her Phone

She has become so fond of keeping her phone close to her that she hates charging the poor thing. When she has to charge the phone, she passes her plugging and unplugging  it constantly. As a result, her phone is never fully charged. What does she do with her phone? Good question! The answer is close to her addiction to the books and WWW. She checks her mail-box every minute (literally), logs in and out of facebook (unnecessaily!), and reads e-books on Amazon Kindle app and Play Books app.

This is all for this edition of The Ankita Times. We would come back, if this edition did not bore the readers enough to deactivate their blogging accounts.

This post is in response to the daily post prompt: Newspaper

Image Credit: http://www.telapost.com

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