Fear has a very significant role in a human’s life — at least, according to me, it has. If one learns to control it, he/she gets the power to actually control their lives; however, if fear controls a person then there’s a tough road ahead. I’ll explain what do I mean by this heavy statement by writing about my own three legitimate fears. So, if you have enough patience to stay with me, let’s begin 😉
- Fear of Wall-Lizards – Now, this might be labeled as a “girly” fear, but that does not mean that I can even pretend to deny this fear. Every now and then, I get nightmares that include this creepy creature. Trust me, I get the most horrendous nightmares, but this one gives me the chills. I remember I used to ask my dad to check the bathroom walls before I could take a shower. A sweetheart that he is, he would go in and check every wall — even, knock the bathroom mirror to see if any lizard is hiding behind it. Only after getting his approval, I would dare to enter the bathroom. I would share one more thing to prove how this fear controls the decisions that I take. I love balconies. I love standing on the balcony and stare at the sky for hours; however, at night, lizards are sure to be found there. Therefore, I send my husband to check the balcony, and only when he gives a nod of approval, I would go out to immerse in the world of my own. So, I guess it’s appropriate to say that I have given this fear way too much power. I would like to believe that I am not shallow and that my fear of lizards has nothing to do with how they look, but the truth is that their appearance has everything to do with this weird fear of mine. Once a lizard fell on my mom’s head, and as much as I wanted to help her, I decided to scream and run — I’m not proud of it. Trust me, no matter how much I love you, if a lizard is stuck anywhere on you, then you are on your own. Sorry!
- Fear of Ghosts – Oh dear God! Do I have fear of ghosts? I don’t watch horror movies because I know I would not be able to get even a moment of real relief for months. If I am alone in my room, then trust me, I am not sleeping. I would keep the television on and tuned to a channel which is sure to not show any horrid scenes. These days, Romedy Now is my favorite. Mostly, it shows cute movies and that works for me. If somehow, I close my eyes, I do not want to open my eyes to a scene in which a possessed woman or man or child talking in double voices and making weird faces. Once, I was left alone in my flat for one week. I could not get a proper sleep and I looked like a zombie for that whole week. I was irritated and sleepy in the office, but the moment I stepped into my room, sleep deserted me and I was left only with anger. Why don’t ghosts go to where they are supposed to be? Leave us alone, please!
- Fear of Being Heartbroken – This has been my biggest fear. I decided to write it in the end because I haven’t even admitted it to myself. However, no matter how much I deny it, this fear controls how I behave. I would like to maintain a distance with everyone to ensure that no one gets a power to break my heart. Getting too close to a person would mean that when they leave you, you are left to remember them and cry for them. I know the fear of being heartbroken keeps me from completely dedicating myself in any relationship, but if that’s what it takes for me to protect my heart, then it’s a very small price to pay. Phew, I can’t believe I wrote about this fear. However, it was about time that I accepted the existence of this demon in my life. There is a phrase that really resonates with how I feel,
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Perhaps, I have taken the guarding part way too seriously!
Voila! As you can see, in my case, my fears are driving my life, and not the other way around, which is never a good place to be in. Sadly, for now, this is how it is.
P.S. This post is in response to the Friday Reflections prompt – Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and how they became fears.